13 tips for effective frienship


The Bible says, “A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses” (The Living Bible, Proverbs 27.19), and thus introduces us to the nineteenth absolute principle of destiny fulfillment:
Be careful in choosing your friends
One evening in Douala, a town in my country Cameroon, Police laid an ambush and caught a gang of alleged thieves. Among them was a young man who was not a thief but a friend of the thieves. The police had them well beaten and fractured the young man’s leg. As he was shutting in pain he told one of the policemen, “my broken leg should excite your pity, see I am not a thief see the way I am dressed, and more to that you met a weapon on each of my friends but on me you met no weapon.” The policeman answered’, that is your matter, it may be all as you say, I only know that I caught you together with these boys, and you must suffer in their company.” This story perfectly exemplifies the negative influence that wrong friends can have on our lives.
The type of friends we keep will go a long way to decide whether we fulfill our destiny or not. There is a lot of wisdom in the adage “Tell me who you hang out with and I will tell you who you are.” Have you given much thought to how that principle has been molding and shaping your life? We have seen great destinies being destroyed by bad friends. Be careful in choosing your friends. This is how I detect friends that are not appropriate for my destiny:

They Never Accept My Dreams
There are some people who will laugh each time you announce a new project for your life. When David (1 Sam 17:237-29) announced to his brothers that he wanted to fight Goliath, his brothers laughed and rebuked him saying he was unable, but David just broke away from them and continued following his vision. How do you know those who do not accept your idea? They mock and laugh when you announce your dream to them; they try to convince you that you are not capable and qualified to do it.
They Never Expect My Dreams to Come To Pass
The moment you have announced your plans, some people accept it and start expecting it. Others accept but don’t expect, it. They just accept to please you but do not believe it can really happen. The Roman soldiers mockingly told Jesus: “he said he could destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days.” They did not believe those words of Jesus, and were not expecting them to be fulfilled neither, that is why they could not be saved. The brothers of Joseph scornfully told him, “let us kill him and see what will become of his dreams.” They did not believe in Joseph’s dream.
They Do Not Respect My Dreams
There are some people who underestimate your aspirations; they see it as mere ambition. Someone who respects your dreams will start by respecting you. But if after you have announce your plans to someone and he continues to belittle you, then be careful with such a person he is not a source of encouragement. Mark Twain confirms, “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
They Do Not Protect My Dreams
How do you know them? They never speak any thing well about your plans. Each time they have the opportunity to say things that can discourage you, scorn and criticize your objectives they do it.

These are the characteristics of good friends:

Anyone Who Can Challenge You to Obey God
If you come across someone who challenges you to obey God, don’t neglect such a one. He is somebody that will help you become what God wants you to be and fulfill your destiny. Those who discourage you from obeying God, even if they are brothers, stay away from them.

Anyone Who Defends You in Your Absence
A real friend do not only defends you in your presence; a real friend does it even in your absence. There are some people who will pretend to love you when they are in front of you but speak ill of you when you turn your back. Be careful of such. Jonathan (1 Sam 19:1-5) was a real friend to David. He defended David in his absence. If you hear that someone you respect spoke ill of you in your absence, be careful of such, likewise if someone you least expect speaks well of you in your absence, go to him and make him your friend. He deserves it.

Anyone Who Is Following a Dream
If you meet someone who has a purpose in life and is following it, make him your friend. Why? Because his attitude will automatically contaminate you, you need such a person to follow up with your goals. “Iron sharpens iron”. Such a person will light you up without even feeling it.

Anyone Willing To Contribute Something to Your Life
If you come across someone who openly indicates that he wants to contribute something to your life may be an advice, an idea, or money to help you fulfill your destiny, make that one your friend. Welcome such in your life and respect the relationship and you will never regret it.
Anyone Who Prizes Integrity
There are some people with very low moral standards. They have very poor values. But there are others who highly esteem integrity. This last group of people can be of great help. Close association with one who refuses to compromise with circumstances he does not like is an asset that can never be measured in terms of money.

Those Who Can Appreciate You
I here agree with William James who said, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” This does not mean you should spend your day going around looking for those who can appreciate you. It simply means that those who appreciate you are potential good friends.
Those Who Can Forgive You
Almost all emotional problems and stress come from unresolved conflicts, failure to have developed right relationships with people. Because of these many people have a deep desire for total forgiveness. A forgiving spirit is one basic necessary ingredient for a solid relationship. Anyone who can truly forgive you is a potential good friend.

Those Who Can Listen To You
Anyone who gives his ears to listen when you are talking indicates that he respects and considers you; he can be a good friend. People want those who can listen when they have something to say.
Those Who Understand You
If you discover that someone is trying to understand your personality and the way you function, he is a potential good friend. Do you know that many people never bother to know how you function; all they want is that you do it their own way. Any person, who understands you or is trying to do so, can be a good friend.
Carefully choose your friends, reject bad ones but keep some friends keep good friends they will help you along the way of your destiny fulfillment.

God bless


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