Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1Thess 5:16-18.NIV)
Motivation is said to be the magic ingredient in the formula of success. Without it, it is very difficult and some times even impossible to attain success, but with it nothing seems impossible.
I have made a serious observation that people easily lose motivation, even for the most important projects in life.
But I have some good news; you can conquer demotivation. Here is how to go about it.
Dr Mike Murdock teaches that the best way to get motivated is to first know why we lost it, and then learn how to correct it. I fully agree to Dr Mike’s advices because, Identifying an enemy is the first weapon to fight it.

Here are the first 4 enemies of motivation

  1. Fatigue
    It comes when we try to do too much too fast and at the detriment of health and spiritual life. We should not try to do too much at a time; it may break us down and kill our motivation. To avoid fatigue, it is advised that you have some achievable goals for every day. Success is obtained one step after the other. Try as much as possible never to end your day being completely exhausted. Certain essentials are necessary for you to experience a successful day: a) rest, b) exercise, c) scripture study, and d) prayer. When you ignore these daily priorities, there will be heaviness within your spirit. God has arranged for you to feel uncomfortable when he is not happy with you.
  2. Lack of confidence
    It is difficult to continue attempting something if you don’t believe that you can do it. You would only be setting yourself up for failure. This doubt in your capacity is called lack of self-confidence. You will need to boost your confidence level if you are going to regenerate your motivation and get back on track. To address lack of confidence, focus on what you already have rather than what you lack, create your own personal positive words that you can tell yourself to boost you up. Speak to yourself using encouraging words. It is true that motivation can come from outside; it may come from a preacher during a motivational seminar, or from reading motivation material. But real motivation is the one we give to ourself. External motivation gives us a quick burst of energy, but do not last.
    You need to motivate yourself using encouraging words. Repeat things that you already know to help remind yourself of what you’ve already achieved. Think positively even if you don’t yet believe what you are telling yourself – eventually, you may start to believe it. Learn to accept a compliment from others – and actually enjoy the feedback. Then the more self-confident we become, the more we are able to achieve. Understanding the relationship between motivation and self-confidence is important if you want to be able to improve either trait in yourself.
  3. Lack of focus
    This is the next reason why we lose motivation. This happens when you no more know exactly what you want, or you might find yourself scattered across so many different goals that you find it difficult to complete any of them. It’s so easy to lose focus on what we are trying to achieve in today’s busy world. There is so much going on that we can get anxious, distracted, and lose our ability to focus. To address lack of focus, you need to converge your efforts on what you are doing so that you can begin making achievements – even if they are small – which will encourage you to move on to the next goal and the next and so on. Reminding yourself of your life assignment can also help you to regain focus.
    Nothing motivates a person more than a sense of purpose. The purpose you have set for yourself is a huge source of motivation. Any person who refocuses on his discovered destiny will surely regain motivation.
  4. Lack of direction
    This happens when you don’t know exactly how to proceed to get what you want. You may know what you want and you believe that you can do it, but you just don’t know how to get there. When this happens it would either stop or demotivate us. To resolve lack of direction, sometimes just staying in action can be important – even if you aren’t exactly sure which actions to take. The good news is that if you can educate yourself on the necessary steps, you should be able to restore your motivation. Let’s say that you have developed your goals and have something to focus on, and you feel pretty confident that you can achieve the goal but still you find it difficult to find the direction that you need. To solve this block, you simply need to take your goal and break it down into the daily strategy that you will use to achieve it. You should literally have steps written down on ‘to-do’ lists so that you have specific tasks to focus on each day. When you sit down to work, pull out your to-do list and get started and you will find that you now have a clear direction to move forward in.
  5. Unwholesome associations
    This motivation killer becomes active when you have friends who distract you or keep on discouraging you by their words and actions. Some wrong friends intentionally destroy your self-Esteem and your self-Efficacy. Self-esteem is the capacity to respect and think well of yourself. It means that you appreciate yourself as a unique individual with your own set of skills, talents, and abilities. David Burns defines self-esteem as “the capacity to experience maximal self-love and joy whether or not you are successful at any point in your life.” Albert Bandura is considered an expert on the concept of self-efficacy. He stated that people perceive their own self-efficacy as “people’s judgments of their capabilities to organize and execute courses of action required to attain designated types of performances. Wrong friends will break your self-esteem and self-efficacy and if these two later ones are broken, your motivation will also be broken.
    To summarize ,avoid what demotivates you, and you will automatically stay motivated.
    Nathaniel Brandenon advises, “How do we keep our inner fire alive? Two things, at minimum, are needed: an ability to appreciate the positives in our life – and a commitment to action. Every day, it’s important to ask and answer these questions: ‘What’s good in my life?’ and ‘What needs to be done?”


Goal-setting is very important especially at the beginning of the year. Indeed, Goals act like magic if properly set:
– Set goals motivate like magic.
-Goal setting takes your dreams and turns them into reality
-By setting goals, you plan how to materialize your wish.
-They keep you focused
-They give you enthusiasm
-They give you clarity in decision-making.
-They help you stay organized
-They help you judge your productivity and effectiveness
in fact, Goal-setting is so vital  that J.C Penny a famous rich man once said: “give me a stock clerk with a goal and I will give you a man, Give me a man without a goal and I will give you a stock clerk.”  But many people hastily set goals  and in the process commit many detrimental mistakes. But while we set goals for 2017, we should avoid those insidious mistake that never go without major consequences. Here them:

—–Don’t fail to list the goal category. Many people fail to list the category of the goal they are setting. There are several categories of goals; spiritual life physical life, intellectual life moral life, familial life, career, relationship etc… It will be helpful for you to list from which category you are setting a goal.
—-Don’t fail to put your goal in writing. While writing, make it specific. For instance, to say you want to be happily married is more of a wish than a goal. For a goal to be effective you must describe in detail what it will look like. Say I want to become a better husband by being more affectionate to my wife. Write your goals down, to have a way to measure your progress. Eric Garner teaches that, “Written goals have a way of transforming wishes into wants, can’ts into cans, dreams into plans and plans into reality”.
—-Don’t fail to give it a deadline. Deadlines often scare people away from goal-setting. But setting a deadline does provide a target. Deadlines don’t only force us to work had, they also serve as a motivator in the sense that each time you meet a deadline it reinforces your sense of fulfilling your goals, creates the momentum and sense of success in your life and gives you satisfaction. Set goals for every day, every week, every month, and every year.
—-Don’t fail to identify potential success blockers. You will meet obstacles therefore you should better expect them! Anything worthwhile in Life will have a price to pay and hurdles to conquer. Successful goal setters identify those potential problems first before they encounter them. This puts them in a much stronger position to overcome.
—–Don’t fail to write out a list of skills you will need to develop to achieve the goal. If you set a goal to be more affectionate then you might have to develop some listening and talking skills. It probably would help. If you want to write a book then you may need to develop grammatical skills. This step forces you to consider ahead of time the tools you will need to see your dreams come true. Make a list.
—-Don’t fail to identify the resources you will need. Chances are, you will require the assistance of certain people to see your dreams fulfilled. Who are they? How should you approach them? What should you ask them? Is there an association or fellowship to join? Some goals require the assistance of professional helpers.
—-Don’t fail to list what benefits this goal will bring. Every goal has a price and requires a certain degree of sacrifice and hard work but also contains some great gains. When you list the benefits of the goal, you stay motivated to stick with it.
Don’t fail to build in accountability factors. Have you tried to achieve a certain goal only to fail time and time again? You feel the goal is worthwhile and you would like to see it through, but you just can’t break through. To achieve such goals, make yourself accountable to someone you respect who can call you to order from time to time.

Learn more about effective goal setting in my book, “principle that make people succeed” available on amazon.

Don’t Pull Up The Seeds When You’ve Just Sown Them: beware of Impatience

You may have heard the story of “The Man and the Butterfly”, this man who saw a butterfly struggling to emerge from its cocoon. To help it out, the man cut a bigger hole in the cocoon and pulled the butterfly through. However, the butterfly could not fly because of its too swollen body. The man did not understand that the butterfly’s struggle to emerge through the hole of the cocoon forces fluid from its body to its wings and thus makes them strong and ready to carry its weight.
We live in a fast generation. We want fast food, fast job, fast money, fast success, and fast love. This attitude is contrary to nature who herself is very patient and allow every process to fully follow her cause. Any attempt to hurry nature, will surely lead to disaster. Impatience is the reason why 95% of people who set themselves goals fail to reach them. Impatience is the source of many trouble and sufferings. Therefore, living in a patient state of mind will go a long way to prevent us some unnecessary trouble.

The most important and difficult stage to accomplish any worthy thing in life is the immediate stage after you set your goals. In the first stage, there’s a brief blip of euphoria. But this soon passes and then you hit the arid plateau of learning. It’s in this phase that most people lose their way and give up.

But this is the phase when you have to hang in there despite appearances. Otherwise, it’s like digging up the seeds a week after sowing them. So, here, for those who need a roadmap through the arid plains of goal-building, is a 6-step guide to managing your impatience and keeping your plans on track.

  1. Have Plenty of Motivation Reminders
    One of the cruel tricks that life plays on us is to make goal-setting easy and goal-building hard. This is no more true than in the opening phases of working towards a new goal. When we choose a new goal that seems within our reach, we are full of excitement and anticipation. It’s like the start of a marathon when everyone cheers us over the start line. But the cheers soon become a distant memory when we move into the second phase, the hard slog. It’s in this phase that we need to have a ready supply of motivation reminders to keep us going. It is in the early stages of working towards a new goal that you learn the most: “When you’re green, you grow. When you’re ripe, you rot.”
  2. Be a Fly, Not A Bee
    The chief problem with the early stages of goal-building is that you can never be sure of the right way forward, particularly if you are breaking new ground. You try something and it doesn’t work. You try again and it doesn’t work again. And again. And again. That’s tough. But it’s essential. Because you’re learning. Karl Weick says that in this situation it is much better to be a fly than a bee. When you place a fly and a bee in an upturned jam jar, the bee will head straight for the light and repeatedly buzz against the bottom of the glass. The fly on the other hand will dive frantically around the jar exploring every corner until he finds a way out. That’s the example to follow when you want to succeed: be a fly, not a bee.
  3. Accept the Struggle
    Those who are eager to succeed often treat the second phase of goal-building as an unnecessary waste of time. They would prefer to skip it and jump to the next phase of success. But this is to misunderstand the whole point of the second phase. It’s there to toughen you up. You may have heard the story of “The Man and the Butterfly” about the man who saw a butterfly struggling to emerge from its cocoon. To help it out, the man cut a bigger hole in the cocoon and pulled the butterfly through. However, instead of flying away, the butterfly was unable to fly. Its body was too swollen. What the man did not understand was that the butterfly’s struggle to emerge through the hole forces fluid from its body to its wings and thus makes them strong and ready to carry its weight. Like the butterfly, we need to struggle to succeed.
  4. Be Objective
    In stage two of goal-building, it’s valuable to stand back and distance ourselves from what’s going on. We need to be tripeds not bipeds. Bipeds are people who see only themselves and others. Risk-taking is a do-or-die undertaking. Progress is either a triumph or disaster. Life is black and white, winning or losing. Tripeds, on the other hand, can distance themselves from their situation by finding a third position where they can observe things with objectivity. Life isn’t either-or any more. It has depth, colour, and many angles.
  5. Don’t Judge Yourself
    Our win-lose culture puts great pressure on us to consider ourselves at any moment in life as either winners or losers. This means that failure is a bad thing and winning is everything. One of the most quoted expressions in our modern culture is: “Failure is not an option”. But this is to misunderstand the real nature of success. We need to fail in order to succeed. And we need to fail big-time in order to succeed big-time. Practically every successful entrepreneur, from Thomas Edison to Walt Disney, experienced failure many times over. But they didn’t judge themselves. They interpreted failure as “not succeeding yet” and saw it as just one more step on the road to success.
  6. Manage Your Morale
    Of course, it’s not always much fun to be stuck in the hard slog phase of goal-building. Nobody’s cheering any more. You have nothing to show for your efforts. And the dream still feels as far away as ever. That’s when you have to manage your morale. That means managing your stress, keeping things light, and working on the things you can’t see: your thinking patterns, your emotions, and your spirit. And, like the fluid in the butterfly, these may just be the things that will make you fly. I can say: “I am terribly frightened and fear is terrible and it makes me uncomfortable, so I won’t do it.” Or I could say: “Get used to being uncomfortable.” It is uncomfortable doing something risky. But so what? Do you want to stagnate and just be comfortable?” (Barbra Streisand)

We human beings are very similar to the plant world. We grow best when we work with Nature and time. Don’t be in too much of a hurry to achieve your goals. If you hold on with faith, certainty, and determination, you’ll get there in due course when the time is right.

learn more about impatience and other critical principles for success in life, in my book:Principles That Make People Succeed: Practical and Biblical Wisdom for Achieving True Success in Life

I also recommend these books written by my mentor:

TD Jakes: The Greatest Lessons through the Inspiring Life of TD Jakes (TD Jakes, Destiny, Identity, Instinct, Powerful Prayers, Wisdom)

Healing the Wounds of the Past


Eye-opening Tips for effective Risk-Taking


Men who attain great success may differ in many ways but they have one thing in common; they take great risks in life. So Risk-taking is as indispensable for great success as engine for vehicle.

Italian explorer and navigator Christopher Columbus who challenged the rages and waves of the sea to discover the American continent, once said: “You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

Indeed, those who fail to take important risks during their life will latter regret bitterly. To illustrate, in his book, millionaire mindset, Robert Gerry reports that Dr. Anthony Campolo, Professor of Sociology at Eastern College, St. Davids, Pennsylvania, shared the results of a survey where 50 people of 95 years and older were asked: “If you could live your life over what would you do differently?” According to Roberts, among many other things these old men regretted, they their lack of risk-taking was preeminent. So these old people said that they would take more chances in life. If they could re-live their lives, they wouldn’t be so scared to take risks.

Yet, despite the indispensable nature of risk-taking, risk must be taken with wisdom for it to yield the expected result.

1- I make sure that my project is strong in my spirit
2- I make sure I truly respect the project. Proof of it will be the time and effort I am willing to put into it.
3- I make sure I am passionate about it. Proof of it will be the price I am ready to pay. Someone wanted to learn the saxophone, but he was not ready to sit down and take lessons on sit, then he understood that if he bought a saxophone he will never know how to play it.
4- The vision must dominate my imagination. Proof of it will be that I think about it all the time. The vision must be foremost in my heart. If God has given you a true vision and genuine purpose, it will pop up in conversation. It will be something bigger than you; too big to keep quiet about.
5- The project must be clear in my mind. Don’t risk in a project that is vague.
6- I must have pleasure and fun each time I think of the vision. Your feelings can be good indicators of your love for your project.

Anyhow, risk is indispensable and must be taken; and, the bigger the risk the bigger the result. We are often afraid to take risk because of the difficulties we may encounter. So we wait for the difficulties to vanish. Unfortunately it is always the opportunities and rarely the difficulties that vanish over time.



Take the Risk: Learning to Identify, Choose, and Live with Acceptable Risk

Against the Gods: The Remarkable Story of Risk

Principles That Make People Succeed: Practical and Biblical Wisdom for Achieving True Success in Life




Though invisible, foundation is the most important part of any structure. Any person, who lays his structure on a wrong foundation, sows seed for a fatal disgrace that will manifest sooner or later. How many times have we been horrified by the news of a structure that crumbled and claimed many lives because it was built on a wrong foundation? Yet we continue to jeopardize our lives and that of our children by laying our successes, lives, and marriages on erroneous pillars.
The word FOUNDATION appears most frequently in the literal sense in connection with the construction of buildings or cities but it also refers to the building of our lives, successes, marriages, children and so on.
To prove the determining nature of foundation, the Lord metaphorically used it in the gospel. He said: “I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.” Luke 6:47-49.
So, even the Lord Jesus confirmed that beauty should not be our primary concern in building but foundation. We should always ask: Is what I am building stand the test of time? Continue reading “FIVE AMAZING ADVANTAGES OF A GOOD FOUNDATION”

The Bridge Between Pains and Peace

get  my book:




And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” John 14:13-14.

In his book Who Won the 94 World Cup? Alex Ribeiro, present Director of (Athletes for Christ), reports that when the Brazilian soccer team was going to play the 1994 soccer world cup in the United State of America, they had five matured Christian in the team. Namely: Jorginho, Dunga, Taffarel, Zinho, Paulo Sergio, and Branco. Bebeto had just started his Christian walk with God. Before, and during the tournament they were always gathering to pray that Brazil should break what had seemed like a curse and win the world cup for the fourth time. Their prayer was answered that day of the final when after praying to Jesus, Goal keeper Taffarel caused Roberto Baggio to miss the last penalty. No prayer goes unanswered, prayer surely changes things; even if it fails to change things for you, it will surely change you for things.
People in all walks of life, today, agree to the fact that prayer is indispensable if we want to finish the race of true success. Almost all great success authors discuss Prayer and as indispensable success principle. People who win over difficult times are people who never stopped believing. These winners, survivors, pray for God’s guidance and when they know what they have to do, they take action. Prayer is the most tremendous power in the world. When you pray affirmative prayers, they release the powers by which positive results are accomplished. Prayer helps for personal efficiency. Prayer helps to tap forces and to utilize strength not otherwise available. Prayer can refresh you up every evening and send you out renewed each morning.
Anyone who wants true success should greatly esteem prayer. Prayer is the foundation principle; it is the principle upon which all the others stand. Without prayer any other success principle will not have any foundation and support, and may consequently fall at any time.

Things Will Be Different Because You Have Prayed
If you pray for anything, it may be for your son, wife, husband, job, business; things will be different than they would have been. This means that because you prayed for you son this morning, his day will be different than it would have been. Prayer has an effect, it is worthwhile. So pray, no prayer ever goes in vain. Each time you pray for anything, your prayers will surely have effect. Prayer always makes things different.

The Throne Of Grace Is Wide Open To Me
This is an important statement. The throne of grace is wide open to you, and anything on God’s heart is available to you if you pray. Prayer is centered on the throne of grace and what a privilege to enter in and access the throne. The hymn writer acclaims, “What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer, “but regrets, “what a joy we often forfeit oh, what needless pain we bear all because we do not carry everything to God in prayers.” Why not pray when the throne of grace is wide opened, prayer is a great privilege.

Nothing Is Born Without Conception
Natural conception doesn’t just happen; there must be a physical union. Similarly an answer to prayer doesn’t just happen; there must be a union with God through prayer. Prayer is not a hit or miss proposition; today I hit tomorrow I miss. God operates on the basis of principles found in scripture. Your spirit is put in union with the spirit of God and conception can take place. It is only when conception takes place that our answer to prayer can be born.


At times, our difficulty may lie in the way to go about with prayer. Here are some practical guides to help you as you engage in a prayerful life
Start With Singing (Ps100:1-2)
It is a good thing to always start your prayer time with singing. Singing prepares your heart and spirit to meet God, and also gives chance to the Holy Spirit to direct you. “Each time you start your prayer time by singing you will be surprised and amazed at how singing and making a joyful noise to the Lord changes your countenance and wakes you up!” Singing also sets the tune of your time with the Lord; when we start prayer by singing we are saying “I’m here, I’m happy and joyful about being here to have fellowship with you Lord.
Pause A Bit And Meditate On God (Ps100:3)
A few moment of meditation upon God’s power is crucial in prayer. We should always remember that “it is he who made us and we are his.” Meditate on God’s sovereignty and goodness. This meditation upon God removes our mindsfrom us and focuses it on the Lord. By it we are awedby his greatness and power, and humbled by the way he loves and cares for each of us. Having seen God as he really is, our focus will be in the right place when we pray and present our petitions to him. Pausing a bit to meditate on God also helps us to enter his presence in faith, which is the essential element in prayer. We must understand that the only ones who adequately prepare themselves for prayer are those who are so impressive with God’s majesty.
Continue With Thanksgiving
After singing and meditating, the next thing to do is to start thanking God. Thank God for what he has done for you, to your family, your business. In singing we are praising God for who he is, in meditating we are seeing God’s attributes. Now with thanksgiving we are thanking God for all the things he has done for us. Remembering past deeds God has done on our behalf reinforces our faith for the future. The Lord told the Israelites to remember his delivering power, (1sam 7:12). In thanksgiving, don’t ignore any blessing of God both great and small ones. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more you will have to express gratitude for. Re-look at the world with new eyes and give thanks to God for all the good things present in your life.Appreciation is application for more.
Start To Pray Specifically
When by faith we are before the throne of grace, we have the liberty to ask God for specific requests. Don’t be vague tell God exactly what you expect of him. Most of the prayer request can be inspired in our hearts just as we meditate and thank God. Thus when we start to pray we already have some topics to pray for, plus those topics we prepared in advance. The Holy-Spirit is the author and instigator of a successful prayer life. He makes intercession for us on what to pray for. He directs our prayer to the areas of our lives that need empowering and cleansing, as well as strength to meet each day’s temptations.
Start The Topics By Those That Concern You
Bind all satanic influence against your life, your business, your job, your family. Bind his influence on you future and on your destiny. Then lose all delayed blessings in your business, job, family, children etc… Then cover your future with the blood of Jesus. Release your doors of favor and blessings. Jesus has promised to do all whatever we ask him. Be specific in your request.
The practical guides I have just highlighted are those that are generally used. You are free to develop your personal approach to prayer time. In the final analysis what really matters is contact with God. I fully agree with Norman Vincent Peale when he says, “bear in mind that the secret of prayer is to find the process that will most effectively open your mind humbly to God. Any method through which you can stimulate the power of God to flow into your mind is legitimate and usable.” Prayer is indispensable for destiny fulfillment. Don’t play with prayer, instead pray prayer because Satan is real and God is also real to answer us. In the Pursuit of destiny, there are always burning winds to pass over the soul of man and dry it up; prayer is the dew which refreshes it.
Prayer makes things possible for men which they find otherwise impossible. The child of many prayers shall never perish. The answer to prayer is not according to your faith while you are talking, but according to your faith while you are working. You cannot impress the mind of God by having a special Sabbath day set apart to tell Him what you want, and then forgetting Him during the rest of the week. You cannot impress Him by having special hours to go into your closet and pray, if you then dismiss the matter from your mind until the hour of prayer comes again. Oral prayer is well enough, and has its effect, especially upon yourself, in clarifying your vision and strengthening your faith; but it is not your oral petitions which get you what you want. In order to succeed with your destiny, you don’t need a “sweet hour of prayer”; you need to “pray without ceasing.”


Purpose is for life what the heart is for the body. The day the two fail you die. Life is so vague and elusive that living a purposeless life is like running aimlessly in the equatorial forest. So, purpose is the compass that orients us as we walk through the tight forest which is this life.
But there is an agonizing reality: despite the absolute necessary nature of purpose, many don’t have a purpose for their life. And it is a catastrophe.
According to my research, two main factors account for this rather crippling mistake. One is that people ignore the importance of purpose and the other is that many people don’t know how to develop a persuasive purpose for their life. In a former post, I lengthy discussed the importance of living a purposeful life. For today, these are:



Learn more about making wise decisions by ready my book: The 8 indispensable keys to continue on the path of true success
Decision making is an integral part of our everyday life. Indeed, every day and every minute of our lives, we are called to take decisions. Studies show that the average person makes 612 decisions a day, in a week that means 4900 and in a year 254800. Decision making would be much easier if there were no consequences, but the reality is that every decision carries inevitable results. What we will be in the next hour and where we will be in the next hour depends much on the choices we make and the decisions we take this hour. What we are today and where we are today was determined by the decisions we made yesterday. What we will be tomorrow and where we will be tomorrow depends on the decisions we make today. Decision-making is therefore a crucial issue that has to be handled with care. Decisions have to be taken wisely and on time, if we want good results. Here are my three tips to help you take good decisions:
1- Decide on a way to glorify God
If you always take decisions in the perspective of obeying and pleasing God, you will increase your chances of always taking good decisions. When faced with complicated choices, always ask:” if it were Jesus in this case what would he do?”

2- Always take decisions in the direction of your God-given vision for life.
For instance, if an aspiring preacher has to choose between buying a good book and buying a good pair of shoes, he should go for the former one. When someone has a God-given vision, it should influence and direct his choices in life. If our choices in life are consistent with the vision God has given us, we will have less to regret

3- Decide to do things that will help you maintain a good relationship with others
But these relationships should be only those which don’t conflict with your destiny. Though we always try to protect our interest at the detriment of peace, from hindsight we often realized that such approach leads us to make a wrong choice. Thus, giving privilege to peace with others in our decision-making will increase our chances of making good decisions.

God bless you!
Do you think I am right?

Learn more on how to make wise decisions by ready my book:




13 tips for effective frienship


The Bible says, “A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses” (The Living Bible, Proverbs 27.19), and thus introduces us to the nineteenth absolute principle of destiny fulfillment:
Be careful in choosing your friends
One evening in Douala, a town in my country Cameroon, Police laid an ambush and caught a gang of alleged thieves. Among them was a young man who was not a thief but a friend of the thieves. The police had them well beaten and fractured the young man’s leg. As he was shutting in pain he told one of the policemen, “my broken leg should excite your pity, see I am not a thief see the way I am dressed, and more to that you met a weapon on each of my friends but on me you met no weapon.” The policeman answered’, that is your matter, it may be all as you say, I only know that I caught you together with these boys, and you must suffer in their company.” This story perfectly exemplifies the negative influence that wrong friends can have on our lives.
The type of friends we keep will go a long way to decide whether we fulfill our destiny or not. There is a lot of wisdom in the adage “Tell me who you hang out with and I will tell you who you are.” Have you given much thought to how that principle has been molding and shaping your life? We have seen great destinies being destroyed by bad friends. Be careful in choosing your friends. This is how I detect friends that are not appropriate for my destiny:

They Never Accept My Dreams
There are some people who will laugh each time you announce a new project for your life. When David (1 Sam 17:237-29) announced to his brothers that he wanted to fight Goliath, his brothers laughed and rebuked him saying he was unable, but David just broke away from them and continued following his vision. How do you know those who do not accept your idea? They mock and laugh when you announce your dream to them; they try to convince you that you are not capable and qualified to do it.
They Never Expect My Dreams to Come To Pass
The moment you have announced your plans, some people accept it and start expecting it. Others accept but don’t expect, it. They just accept to please you but do not believe it can really happen. The Roman soldiers mockingly told Jesus: “he said he could destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days.” They did not believe those words of Jesus, and were not expecting them to be fulfilled neither, that is why they could not be saved. The brothers of Joseph scornfully told him, “let us kill him and see what will become of his dreams.” They did not believe in Joseph’s dream.
They Do Not Respect My Dreams
There are some people who underestimate your aspirations; they see it as mere ambition. Someone who respects your dreams will start by respecting you. But if after you have announce your plans to someone and he continues to belittle you, then be careful with such a person he is not a source of encouragement. Mark Twain confirms, “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
They Do Not Protect My Dreams
How do you know them? They never speak any thing well about your plans. Each time they have the opportunity to say things that can discourage you, scorn and criticize your objectives they do it.

These are the characteristics of good friends:

Anyone Who Can Challenge You to Obey God
If you come across someone who challenges you to obey God, don’t neglect such a one. He is somebody that will help you become what God wants you to be and fulfill your destiny. Those who discourage you from obeying God, even if they are brothers, stay away from them.

Anyone Who Defends You in Your Absence
A real friend do not only defends you in your presence; a real friend does it even in your absence. There are some people who will pretend to love you when they are in front of you but speak ill of you when you turn your back. Be careful of such. Jonathan (1 Sam 19:1-5) was a real friend to David. He defended David in his absence. If you hear that someone you respect spoke ill of you in your absence, be careful of such, likewise if someone you least expect speaks well of you in your absence, go to him and make him your friend. He deserves it.

Anyone Who Is Following a Dream
If you meet someone who has a purpose in life and is following it, make him your friend. Why? Because his attitude will automatically contaminate you, you need such a person to follow up with your goals. “Iron sharpens iron”. Such a person will light you up without even feeling it.

Anyone Willing To Contribute Something to Your Life
If you come across someone who openly indicates that he wants to contribute something to your life may be an advice, an idea, or money to help you fulfill your destiny, make that one your friend. Welcome such in your life and respect the relationship and you will never regret it.
Anyone Who Prizes Integrity
There are some people with very low moral standards. They have very poor values. But there are others who highly esteem integrity. This last group of people can be of great help. Close association with one who refuses to compromise with circumstances he does not like is an asset that can never be measured in terms of money.

Those Who Can Appreciate You
I here agree with William James who said, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” This does not mean you should spend your day going around looking for those who can appreciate you. It simply means that those who appreciate you are potential good friends.
Those Who Can Forgive You
Almost all emotional problems and stress come from unresolved conflicts, failure to have developed right relationships with people. Because of these many people have a deep desire for total forgiveness. A forgiving spirit is one basic necessary ingredient for a solid relationship. Anyone who can truly forgive you is a potential good friend.

Those Who Can Listen To You
Anyone who gives his ears to listen when you are talking indicates that he respects and considers you; he can be a good friend. People want those who can listen when they have something to say.
Those Who Understand You
If you discover that someone is trying to understand your personality and the way you function, he is a potential good friend. Do you know that many people never bother to know how you function; all they want is that you do it their own way. Any person, who understands you or is trying to do so, can be a good friend.
Carefully choose your friends, reject bad ones but keep some friends keep good friends they will help you along the way of your destiny fulfillment.

God bless

comforting realities about temptation

If you are Christian like me, then this is good news for you,

Temptation is not sin

I have found that many Christian adults struggle with the distinction between temptation and sin. Bombarded by tempting thoughts, they conclude that there must be something pretty sick about them. They equate temptation with sin. But even Jesus was “tempted in all things as we are.” But finish the verse: “Yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15). As long as we are in the world we are exposed to temptation just like Jesus was. But He didn’t sin, and we don’t have to sin either (1 Corinthians 10:13). In this post I want to define and describe temptation so you can easily recognize it and quickly refuse Satan’s invitation to do things your own way. THE BASIS OF TEMPTATION Since Adam, every person is born into this world physically alive and spiritually dead (Ephesians Continue reading “comforting realities about temptation”